Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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