tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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