At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
