hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
