What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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