Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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