also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
