Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
And then he peed in my hair
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