i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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