I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
