Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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