going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I had to cum in my sink.
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