she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
