I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
