Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
