I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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