I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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