I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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