the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
