I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
