Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
