just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
