I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
