Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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