U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
