Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  be more specific...?

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  (248): whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen? (1-248): be more specific...? http://tfl.nu/5e4s
  Replies (6) Good night (2086) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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  (618): for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed. http://tfl.nu/1nkf
  Replies (16) Good night (3156) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (853) Bad night (5223)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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  (250): Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point? http://tfl.nu/14m2
  Replies (9) Good night (2852) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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  (207): I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee. http://tfl.nu/4bjn
  Replies (18) Good night (4873) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

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  (847): I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/akmh
  Replies (3) Good night (2511) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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  (780): We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150. http://tfl.nu/ontt
  Replies (20) Good night (2005) Bad night (2763)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.

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  (714): The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit. http://tfl.nu/q5dj
  Replies (16) Good night (1102) Bad night (2812)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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  (765): He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube. http://tfl.nu/tf6d
  Replies (2) Good night (2148) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (2061) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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  (304): ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP http://tfl.nu/bbs8
  Replies (6) Good night (2201) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it

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  (215): It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it http://tfl.nu/0xgu
  Replies (9) Good night (1920) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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  (616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9
  Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"

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  (570): I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty" http://tfl.nu/vh2z
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.

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  (928): I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish. http://tfl.nu/fekx
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (332)

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