I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
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I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules