you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
