Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She just used a chaser for red wine.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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