do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
