Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ketchup is God's man juice
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
