My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
