Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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