absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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