All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
