Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize