Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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