you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
