the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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