I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
