apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
