Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I sprained my soul last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
