I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
