Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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