Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she smelled like a LAN party
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
