No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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