so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
