i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
