He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
