That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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