His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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