Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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