the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
