Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
