trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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