ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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