so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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