I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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