so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i dont even know how to be here
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
